Every time I see an actress like you, it’s like you’re allowing someone to discover a new site. If that were the case, how would you introduce that “land”?
I like things that are a bit strange. Something like a role that isn’t eccentric nor ordinary. It has to be interesting. You may have realized it, but things are hard for me when I’m bored. If something isn’t to my liking, winning against myself is very difficult. If I end up doing something that I have to go against, I’d rather die. (Laughs) I think to myself “Do I have to live like this for this?” On the other hand, if I’m doing something interesting, I’m passionate like a crazy person.
Between having your likes and dislikes clear towards some work and expressing this, at some point the line you have to protect becomes something to worry about. Every time that arises, I subconsciously compare the two when thinking about the things I must endure. However, it seems like you don’t do that, so are you okay? (Laughs)
Having this fight against myself is very difficult. However, my life is very colorful, but I like it. Going back to the difficult time in my dramatic life, it felt like I was dreaming. In the beginning when I first started living the life of an actress, I didn’t know about stuff like this at all. However, it’s not bad as a woman, being consoled like this.
We can’t avoid talking about your dramatic story when you were the talk of the town in 2011. The stance by the viewers left a big shock. Many things got tangled up due to people judging on the rights and wrongs. However, after the incident, people became more curious about your activities. What kind of image will you show off of yourself in the future?
As a woman and as a human being, I don’t see this as a time to “fix” myself. I lost many things through that incident. However, that’s the kind of person I am. I lost everything, even if I’m in a state where I believe that’s not the case, I am living my life as I see fit, and at the very least I’m a person who thinks that I can be truthful to myself. That incident was the major topic on everyone’s lips as if it were gossip, however, it’s not that simple to act like that. It’s like that because I had to throw everything away. That’s how I think of it. Up until now, I lived and worked hard all by myself, though I can’t live again as if I lost everything. However, I can’t do anything about it, so I’m seeing what direction my life is pulling me.
In regards to that incident, the criticism and support clearly missed each other. The people who didn’t criticize you and understood you support your frankness. Wasn’t it scary to receive criticism?
Of course there were people who criticized me. That’s natural. However, I couldn’t live the very life that I was getting support for. I have to supervise my life. There are times when I think something is correct in a situation and I have to go forward with what I believe. I even have to accept any negative results that happen due to my actions.
It’s natural to expect someone to change after suffering in incident like that. Has this incident created an opportunity for you to change as an actress and as a human being?
I realized that my life wasn’t like the pretty pink world that I had imagined. It was an opportunity that led me to examine my life more broadly and deeply. I thought that I may have needed to fix my life a little bit. After a person experiences a hard time or suffers pain, it’s not possible to understand another person’s difficult situation nor sympathize with them. You can only have pity for them. Now when someone says they’re in pain, I think that I could have more interest in their plight. For me, it seemed like I was a bit thoughtless and only liked extravagant things, but after some soul searching, that wasn’t the case. (Laughs)
Source: Harper Bazaar Korea December 2012 Issue
Translation: The Real CZ @ Hallyu Interview